Are you searching for the secrets to health, wealth and happiness? Or, are you trying to improve your relationship with your family, move up the corporate ladder or change the current status of your life for better? If your life is on a roller coaster now or you feel trap chances are you need your emotional freedom.
We are living in an age and society where we or people in our lives are experiencing challenging situations – life-threatening health conditions, marriage breakdowns and financial pressures. Other common emotions many of us feel, at least at times, include anger, frustration, anxiety and depression.
It is understandable everybody feels hopeless, down, bummed, blue, or pessimistic every now and then, that’s normal. However, this can influence the way you eat, sleep and react to others around you. Whenever these feelings come around you have to ensure that you are not caught in an emotional prison where you lose the freedom to express yourself rationally.
The catch is, you have to understand yourself and learn how to control your emotions then you will have the knowledge to be both successful in both personal and business relationships. Like everything, this starts with a plan and your emotional freedom has to be a part of it. No matter what you’ve experienced there is always hope for change and healing.
So What is Your Emotional Freedom?
For me, emotional freedom is being free from feeling like a victim and not being controlled by our emotions. We are emotionally free when we know how to learn from and manage our feelings so that we are not reactive to them and they don’t control us.
Your Emotional freedom is your ability to love by cultivating positive emotions and being able to transform negative emotions. This will liberate you from fear and lets you navigate adversity without attacking someone, losing your cool, or being derailed by negativity.
If you are held hostage by your emotions you can’t lead a liberated, happy life, and most people don’t have the tools to transform frustration, depression, anxiety, worry and fear into positive emotions so you will always be in conflict with others.
Learning to work with any negative emotions, rather than collapsing under them, helps you to grow and rise above the issues around you. For example, instead of getting angry after you’ve been hurt respond with empathy for the person who has hurt you. The outcome – you’ll feel happier, more flexible and more alive. You’ll also be kinder to yourself and your family and friends.
Your emotional freedom is also the result of learning how to take emotional responsibility, that is, responsibility for our feelings. It is the ability to cope with the everyday stresses and strains of living our life. Quite often, the ability to cope overwhelms us, and if we don’t give sufficient time to take control of our emotions we lose our ability to function properly and ultimately lose emotional freedom.
Loss of Emotional Control
This loss of control of your emotions can be momentary, or it can last for years. The most debilitating part of the process is the inability to function even in the most usual of routines. Even a short trip to the supermarket could become impossible, because of the fear created within you.
I believe the hectic pace of life in this 21st century only serves to enhance the need to give our spirit, our soul, our inner voice a chance to be heard. We drown out any opportunity to connect with ourselves during the course of our day, because we schedule everything, multi-task everything, and leave no downtime for a conversation with our self. It’s impossible to listen to your inner needs, if you’re talking on the phone, listening to the radio, or interacting with your children.
We take emotional responsibility when we are open to learning about how we are causing our wounded feelings and what loving actions we need to take on our own behalf. We take emotional responsibility when we compassionately embrace our core feelings with deep kindness and gentleness toward ourselves, allowing ourselves to feel and release these painful feelings, and learning about what they may be telling us about others and events.
There are Two Different Kinds of Emotions: Wounded and Core Emotions.
Wounded emotions are the feelings we cause by our own thoughts and actions. For example, if you tell yourself that you have to be perfect in everything you do you will likely feel anxious, and the anxiety is coming from what you are telling yourself. If you ignore your own needs and do not take care of yourself, you will likely feel depressed. Our wounded emotions are feelings such as anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, anger, fear of the past or future, resentment, emptiness and aloneness.
All of our emotions are an inner guidance system, giving us much information. Our wounded emotions are telling us that we are abandoning ourselves in some way – ignoring our feelings and needs, judging ourselves, turning to various addictions to avoid our feelings, or making others responsible for our feelings, is being emotionally dependent on another person for our feelings of self-worth and happiness. If you are at this stage it means you need emotional freedom NOW!
Core painful emotions are the feelings that come from life – from people, events and circumstances. These are emotions such as loneliness, sadness, grief, heartache, heartbreak, sorrow, fear of real and present danger, outrage over injustice, and helplessness over others and events. These feelings are letting us know when someone is unloving to us, when someone or a situation is dangerous to us, and when we need to attend and take loving action on our own behalf.
While we do not cause our core emotions, we are still responsible for managing them with deep compassion for ourselves, and when we avoid them, then we are likely to cause our wounded emotions.
Core positive emotions are the feelings that result from taking emotional responsibility for all our feelings. These are feelings such as inner peace, joy, love, excitement, passion, aliveness, happiness, fulfilment and so on. These feelings are letting us know that we are on the right track towards emotional freedom.
Are You Controlled by Your Emotions
We live in a world that desensitizes us. We are surrounded by billions of influences on television, in the media, on radio, in households, government, schools and so forth. Each to their own, but everyone is judging someone at some time, which is something we have to accept. We cannot change these peoples behaviours and way of thinking, but we can change ours and claim emotional freedom.
This is part of learning and accepting. The best way around the world is to become your own influence and allow other influences to make someone else’s life miserable. Only rely on sources that prove truthful with their actions, behaviours and words. Positive reflections are the key to living happier.
Do you accept the things you cannot change? Do you accept the things you have control over? Do you accept other people regardless of how these people act? Do you accept you for who you are? Do you accept the changes that life brings your way?
Acceptance is your key to happiness. When you can learn to accept the good with the bad, you can learn how to live happier and live in emotional freedom. Once you learn to accept you will be eager to laugh. For instance, if someone makes you mad you will see the humour in his or her actions. You may see the humour in your actions if you make a mistake and feed into their stupidity.
Once you start to see the humour in life, you will feel better inside. We are involved in an unruly world filled with greedy people, envious souls, lusty tigers, and so on. We have to learn how to work around these people, accept us and move on. Once you learn to change to better you, other people may follow. Good conduct has proven far more effective than words to encourage others to change.
Using the Mind to Claim Your Emotional Freedom
When you use your mind, you set out to gain qualities that guide you in the right direction. To use your mind to improve your life consider:
We all have commitments they are a part of life. When you have commitments, you enter into promises that you will get something done. Start making commitments to yourself. I commit to change habits that hinder me from achieving my goals or improving my personal life.
Evaluate your skills to see how you can use them to better your life. While you are evaluating your skills, look for new skills. Reach deep inside you, accept the discomforts, fears, or things you do not like, look past them and find new skills.
Do you have your priorities straight? Do you have all your plans in perspective? Re-evaluate your plans to make sure that you are on the right path to improve your personal life. If you notice areas you can improve, don’t be afraid to take action. Taking action is the last step you will take in anything you do that helps to improve your life.
How do you view failure? Failure upside down is an achievement. Failure is common and happens to all us daily. Failure helps us to learn how to develop and grow into a better person. If you sit around stressing failure, then you are heading nowhere quick. Failure is a part of life. You have failure around you, in you, and in your future. Learn from your failures, accept your blame and move to make things better for you.
People hear the word no and fear it. No is not a rejection, rather no is a positive action you take to spare your future. When you say no I am not going to the bar, you are saying I have better things to do than waste my time in a building filled with drunks. Sometimes you have to tell someone you love no. For instance, you may have to tell your mate no when he or she asks you to watch television when you know you have to study. Don’t let your mate hold you back. It is ok to say no.
We all follow rules. Rules are a part of life, which sometimes the rules are hard to digest. You have to learn to open up your passageway and digest them anyway unless you are willing to stand up and protest in a positive way. People complaining about rules they don’t like and not taking action is wasting everyone’s time. You have the power, yet it takes you to use that power.
Life is filled with trial rides. Every day we walk out our door we are on a trial ride. Each day we have good trials and bad trials. How do you handle trials? If you are willing to take risks in life, likely you handle trials well.
On the other hand, if you fear changes, then you will need to find a way to deal with the trials in life. Unfortunately, too many people deal with these trials by drinking excessively or drugging. Don’t be one of these people.
You have many options in life. Good options and bad options will come your very each day. Sometimes you will choose bad options, yet when you make mistakes, don’t dwell rather pull up your resources to see how you could have done things differently, and do it differently the next
Tips on how to Claim Your Emotional Freedom if You Are Being Controlled by Your Emotions
1. Take Inspiration From Others
When you feel like unmotivated, then you should try to read about how they achieved their goals? Who knows? Maybe all you need is a little jolt of a fresh idea to get you moving.
There are also a lot of sites and blogs online that are dedicated to listing down famous people’s quotes. A simple as these quotes are, they can have quite a profound effect on your life. I guarantee that you’ll find a quote where you can gain inspiration from or even someone you may want to emulate.
2. Think Positive
Thinking positive has been proven to have a powerful impact on a person’s life. While your environment might not be conducive to positive thinking, you can still be the lone light that shines in the office. You are what you think. Your future is what you think it to be. If you keep on thinking about how deeply unmotivated you are and how you’ll never be able to achieve your goals, then that is most probably how you’ll end up.
3. Try and Cope with Criticiser without Being Demolished
Always consider the source. Criticism is rampant in our world. People have all kinds of opinions about how you ‘should’ feel or be. If someone you respect makes a suggestion, you may want to consider it. Otherwise, don’t dwell on criticism. A good general rule is to try not to take personally even what’s meant personally. People say untrue things all the time. Your challenge is to not believe them. Graciously let the spiky comment pass. Sometimes silence is the best answer.
4. Approach Frustration with Patience
What if things aren’t happening fast enough? Realise that there’s your timetable and there’s spirit’s timetable. Timing is tricky. Though we may prefer quick results, as Orloff’s spiritual teacher has reminded her, ‘A plant flourishing in a small pot will die if prematurely planted into a larger one.’ Patience primes us for flowering when the time is right.
Trusting flow – a larger-than-self intelligence that carries us through life – means pacing ourselves and optimising what we’ve got. This is more appealing than over striving or pressuring others (turn-offs that make us look desperate). When you’ve swum against a mighty ocean current, you know how exhausted you become. Same as when you fight the flow of life.
5. Try Something Different
You should try to keep off from your usual routine. After all, is not routine one of the reasons why you’re so unmotivated in the first place? You don’t have to do something drastic. A lot of people, for example, like to get out of bed an hour or two earlier than the usual. They arrive at their office earlier, too.
There are various ways to motivate yourself when you are in a slump. It all depends on what catches your attention. Some people find motivation in the details. Others find it in the bigger picture.
6. Reprogram the Biology of Your Emotions
How? Try this three-minute meditation. Find a comfortable, quiet space where you won’t be interrupted. Wearing loose clothing, settle into a relaxed position. It’s best to sit upright so you don’t fall asleep. Eyes closed, focus on your breath to quiet your thoughts. When thoughts come in, visualise them as clouds passing in the sky.
Notice them but don’t attach any judgement to them. Maintain a centred state of calm by continuing to follow the movement of your breath. Let yourself feel the sensuality of inhaling and exhaling as air passes through your nostrils and chest like a cool breeze. With each slow, deep breath, feel yourself inhaling calm, then exhaling stress. Inhale calm, then exhale fear. Inhale calm, then exhale frustration.
All negativity is released. Your body unwinds. You’re cocooned by the safety of stillness. Keep focusing on the breath and only the calm. Practising this meditation, you’ll become adept at upping your endorphins and short-circuiting your fight-or-flight response.
7. Reward Yourself
Goals can be difficult to see through to the end when you are not motivated enough. The trick here is to promise yourself a reward once everything is over, or even when you achieve phase 1 of your goal. Rewards can be as simple as a trip to your favourite coffee shop or something bigger like a financial reward. Regarding business, think about how achieving this goal can lead on to better and brighter investments.
8. Seek Support
Misery loves company. No man is an island. Great minds think alike. I know what you’re thinking. You’ve heard all of this before. But why do you still tend to face your problems alone? When you feel completely unmotivated and defeated, you need to seek assistance from your fellow colleagues. They might be feeling just as lost as you are.
9. Attract Hope, Banish Depression
To detach from depression first, ask yourself: ‘Is the feeling mine or someone else’s?’ It could be both. If the depression is yours, gently confront what’s causing it on your own, or with professional help. If not, try to pinpoint the obvious generator.
Look for hopeful people and situations. Call a friend who sees the good in others. Spend time with a colleague who affirms the bright side of things. Listen to hopeful people. Hear the faith they have in themselves and others. Also relish hopeful words, songs and art forms. Hope is contagious; it will lift your mood.
Your Emotional Freedom comes through concentrated effort, discipline, and devotion, to our body, mind and soul. The wellness of our spirit or soul affects all other parts of our person, as evidenced in the presence of panic attacks, mental breakdowns, and the inability to cope. The need to attend to our wellness needs should be added to our daily “to do” list so that we schedule in enough time for our selves!
You will gradually experience the joy of emotional freedom when you decide that you want responsibility for your feelings. Inner Bonding is a powerful process for learning how to take emotional responsibility and attain emotional freedom.
You become a hero in your own life as you learn to use emotions as a chance to become stronger, brighter. This is critical on a personal level because it frees you from suffering. But it’s just as important on a collective level because if we don’t face the fear and anger in ourselves, then we risk projecting it globally. This creates war and massive suffering to our human family, so we must find inner peace before we can have outer peace. That’s why I consider emotional freedom an inner peace movement.